Thursday, January 21, 2010

Plastic Flowers

There is no life in what you bring as a tribute to our shared loss.

The cheap monuments piled so high, fading to gray by the rough, ever-changing weather in this cemetery by the sea.
They wither and cheapen my sharp grief, poking up from the ground where you planted them as a final defiance.

A quick gathering, the harvesting of seconds and 10 steps to the edge, lifting my hands, then a release, letting them wheel away on North Atlantic winds. A more fitting homage I leave instead, a fallen tear, a laughing memory and a small beach rock on the larger shaped granite.

A quick look back, a tranquil place that now says remembrance.


Kim Batchelor said...

Wow, that's powerful. I don't know if you were writing about Haiti, but it certainly evokes that image. Good work.

Marisa Birns said...

Poetic prose at its very best!

Love how it begins, love how it ends.

Laurita said...

Powerful little piece. It says so much in such a small space. Very nice.

Michael Solender said...

Strong debut. Nice to see your chops E-O!

Jim_Wisneski said...

Yes, poetic prose.



Jim_Wisneski said...

Sorry to DOUBLE COMMENT here but I couldn't find an email address.

I have a blog/publication called Soft Whispers and if you have anything like this - short poetic prose OR pictures, feel free to submit them!

Check it out:

Thanks and nice work!


CJ Hodges MacFarlane said...

Quite powerful.

I feel the same way about plastic flowers at cemeteries. They cheapen everything..
Extremely well done.

Draco Torre said...

Very poetic and moving.

Anne Tyler Lord said...

Very beautiful and powerful. This is a wonderful debut.

Mental_Pictures said...

Oh my wow.

Thank you all so much for your comments.

Kim - I guess it really does fit, but I originally wrote this piece after reading a piece that Laurita wrote about a loss @ seat.

Marisa - thanks!

Laurita - your encouragement means a lot and your expertise and writing eye / ear is invaluable to me as a resource.

Michael - usually I save my chops for later in an aquantience but glad you enjoyed them. ;-)

Jim - many thanks, and I will check out that link.


Sam said...

Wonderfully powerful, very moving. :)

Weezel said...

Very moving piece . . . almost breathtaking! Welcome to #fridayflash

Mark Kerstetter said...

You have captured the awful feeling left by old filthy artificial flowers.