There is no life in what you bring as a tribute to our shared loss.
The cheap monuments piled so high, fading to gray by the rough, ever-changing weather in this cemetery by the sea.
They wither and cheapen my sharp grief, poking up from the ground where you planted them as a final defiance.
A quick gathering, the harvesting of seconds and 10 steps to the edge, lifting my hands, then a release, letting them wheel away on North Atlantic winds. A more fitting homage I leave instead, a fallen tear, a laughing memory and a small beach rock on the larger shaped granite.
A quick look back, a tranquil place that now says remembrance.
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13 comments:
Wow, that's powerful. I don't know if you were writing about Haiti, but it certainly evokes that image. Good work.
Poetic prose at its very best!
Love how it begins, love how it ends.
Powerful little piece. It says so much in such a small space. Very nice.
Strong debut. Nice to see your chops E-O!
Yes, poetic prose.
AWESOME!
Jim
Sorry to DOUBLE COMMENT here but I couldn't find an email address.
I have a blog/publication called Soft Whispers and if you have anything like this - short poetic prose OR pictures, feel free to submit them!
Check it out:
www.softwhisp.blogspot.com
Thanks and nice work!
Jim
Quite powerful.
I feel the same way about plastic flowers at cemeteries. They cheapen everything..
Extremely well done.
Very poetic and moving.
Very beautiful and powerful. This is a wonderful debut.
Oh my wow.
Thank you all so much for your comments.
Kim - I guess it really does fit, but I originally wrote this piece after reading a piece that Laurita wrote about a loss @ seat.
Marisa - thanks!
Laurita - your encouragement means a lot and your expertise and writing eye / ear is invaluable to me as a resource.
Michael - usually I save my chops for later in an aquantience but glad you enjoyed them. ;-)
Jim - many thanks, and I will check out that link.
EllenO
Wonderfully powerful, very moving. :)
Very moving piece . . . almost breathtaking! Welcome to #fridayflash
You have captured the awful feeling left by old filthy artificial flowers.
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