Sunday, October 19, 2008

Wink the Drine, try The Ratbag in fact.

What a fabulous time at the wine show, I enjoyed myself immensely. I laughed very hard at several different things discovered the wonder of the decapatated houses of Fogo, (which I must see someday) the eyes have hills, if you ask someone if they've tried your Ratbag that they may in fact spit their wine out and that a Yellowbelly burger is quite good. Good company makes they day and I had some grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat company. Company is great. Company with clean ears is something too but I can't remember what.

Of course some things were arlready part of my wide range of knowlege like O'Reillys is awesome and strongbow is awesomer and live music is the best EVAR!

No hangover is good too, I think thats to be credited to the Yellowbelly burger and the approximatly 3 pounds of meat therein. That and two bottles of water, a cafe mocha and potato chips at like 1130pm.

Okay family is here must let mudder check to see if she has any $$ on the lottery. Back later to explore / expound on other stuff.


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Watch This for Instant Happy

So are you happy now? Was that not the most awesome thing you have ever seen / heard?

In other news I have become aware how often I put a space between the last letter of the end word of a sentence and the puncutation, it only seems to occur with ! or ? though which I suppose makes sense. After all. The period. Does. Not Really need extra. Space. Right ?

See the ? needs the room to move ! So does the ! ! By Gum ! It does.


Friday, October 10, 2008

Cod Britches etc...

Good evening all (all 1 of you) !

It's lovely Friday evening, I just got back from turkey shopping where I picked up among other things a turkey (surprise) some cranberry sauce (jellied), Tim Hortons hot chocolate and a bottle of red wine (Big Fat Llama). Oh and a lottery ticket because I told my brother that I would buy tickets with him a few months ago and now it's like THE thing to do. I get emails, I get calls I get reminders....but it's all good at least we talk like twice a week or more compared to months of no contact. So the less than $20 a week is A-Okay with me. Plus a very remote chance of winning something I'm so there.

So the subject line, I was taking a cab up Park Ave. in Mount Pearl earlier the week and this was on the sign in front of the fish market place, BRITCHES ? really ? Heads, tongues, fillets, cheeks, and assorted other body parts but never have I seen/heard anything about cod britches. I thought that was odd and notable. Where else would I comment on the odd and notable (*cough* Brain Droppings *cough*) but in my dear old Blagh...bloggity bloggity blog.

So new townhouses to look at tomorrow / weekend possibly very exciting, hope I find "Teh One". Of course I'll take the lotto win (that remote one referenced earlier) and buy a monstrosity of a house on Circular Rd and paint it purple and have the inside totally covered in bookshelves. Sweet dreams...sweet sweet bookalicious dreams.

BD if you are reading this I sent you two follow up emails on your query of last night please check your for receipt of same.

For the record the red Big Fat Llama is quite good. I recommend this wine. I can't wait for the wine show next week.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

The Aftermath

Head pounds, a dry mouth whispers a plea for water, Dora the Explorer counts to 573 in both Spanish and English in a high pitched whine that breaks glass, the room continues to spin.

I collapse on the couch, the weight of my head is equivalent to the mass of a dark star, coffee is my enemy; light is my nemesis, Dora is an experienced mistress of torture. Damn her Uno, dos and tres to infinity.

I succumb to darkness once again, the lure of abandoned blankets to much to resist

..........Time Passes.....................

Good Morning! Okay so it's afternoon but still it's good right?!? No reason for it not to be good, oh look an educational kids program how cute and ummmmm educational! They are learning all sorts of things, even another language! I feel perfectly adequate today, what an afternoon for endless possibilities for things like naps! I love naps! I love coffee! I have a big cup of coffee, or I had one it was awesome..sooo caffeiny and full of sugar

......................Caffeine Metabolizes.........

cont'd next time, same hangover time same hangover channel.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

In which I make shit up

So there I was, running late. I had plans I had really been looking forward to taking part in. They involved music, alcohol, and spending time with my best friend people watching (ie judging everyone in sight indiscriminately with no set criteria, rules, or sense of fair play). I had been asked a particularly asinine question just before I left work for the day. The answer, then definition, and then flowcharting had taken more time than I expected. It’s hard being what I am. I won’t tell you what exactly that is but suffice it to say that I am vitally important, smarter than everyone, and I frequently have bizarre and outlandish things happen to me. They ALWAYS happen to ME by the way. Nothing ever happens around me that I could say I observed and then report on. Noooo! I must be the center figure in every story I write, just like in life where I am the true centre of the universe and things revolve around me. *hair toss*

So anyway I was meeting my fellow wench at a bar. I knew she would be there wenching it up while I was delayed. No worries about her. I made sure my white high heels and matching 80’s accessories were perfect and that my banana clip was mostly straight. I had some trouble managing my leopard print skirt. Damn pleather - so cheap, so sticky, so sexy (just like myself really). My bangs were an awesome sight, so shellacked they could double as armour in Iraq (God bless all the soldiers, including the ones who call me for recruitment even though I’m lying a big fat lie about that). I get out of the cab, the driver had insisted on telling me about his last fare. James Woods, Timothy Hutton and Robert Palmer (back from the grave) had been on their way to a poker/play/bake convention at a local casino hosted by a magical lawyer. Apparently I’m the dead ringer for the muse of BullSh*t in his country. Cool, huh ?

I needed a drink. I made my way past the bouncer, but the damn idiot made me take off five pounds of jewellery and used a Sharpie on my white heels cause he said they were tacky. Doesn’t he know who I am ??!! I left the equivalent of 5700 Barbie dream homes at the coat / tacky check. I moved in to find Brain Droppings. I spied her chatting up some unfortunate stump of a man with a dead squirrel on his head and a cubic zirconium the size of St. Pierre on his right earlobe. She was putting all her best moves on him, I could tell by the curl of her lip as she played hard to get and that slightly glazed look in her eyes. Being as I was 50 feet away and there were about 200 people in between us this was quite a feat on my part. She was bringing her ‘A’ game for sure. The midget she was beguiling seemed to be somewhat immune to her so called charms, he seemed to be perturbed by something in his drink, or maybe it was a lack of something...looked like lime.

I pushed my way past the gyrating patrons, the intellectuals (who I had to correct on their translation of a Latin phrase. They were not impressed, but really it’s important that everyone knows that it’s “Beware the Unwashed” not “Wash in cold water and check for colour fastness”), the jocks (I assume that’s what they were with the baseball bats) the Socs, the Greasers and everyone else who makes up a good range of archetypes who I make fit whatever story I want to make up.

I stopped to exchange pleasantries with the Girl Who Hates me. I told her she was failing my class and according to the campus nurse she had a raging case of VD. I stopped and checked in with my fan club, via text, cell and email because I can’t go too long without being validated.

The hobbit who was chatting up the BFF (even though I profess to have no friends) seemed to resolve its issue with the beverage of choice I had to pass him to meet up with Brain Droppings. I towered over him. I could see a bald spot shining like moonlight on the water through a comb over / transplant mess. He looked up at me.

“You’re really tall” he said in an expositional manner.

“You found your way out of Mordor” I said snarkily “With lime no less. No scurvy for you.”

“Better too much lime than too little fashion sense and an affinity for plastic clothing and Aquanet hairspray,” he said bitchily.

Satisfied with our encounter we both left the scene of the crime (although there was no actual crime committed as I always exaggerate and make shit up willy nilly in a haphazard and totally transparent manner and usually over use italics to boot)

I gyrated over to Brain Droppings via Platinum Blonde, letting my 80’s hair band groupie out to play. That was really odd considering we were in a piano bar but I rarely let a small thing like reality get in my way. I passed Gabriel Byrne buying drinks for the Stations of the Cross as I did so. They were doing shots called “Stigmatas”.

I came face to face with my friend. I bought her a drink at her insistence and then she told me she never liked me anyway and that she masturbates to Elton John. I said it’s gonna be a long long time before I meet you for a drink again.

Thursday, October 02, 2008


Woot !! Thursday has arrived, I love me some Thursday ! It's just sooooo...THURSDAY *shivers in delight*

Much to do now tonight, I have to avoid doing laundry, I have to go to the mall (walk ? bus ? cab ?) for an errand or 3, buy books that I haven't budgeted for, and probably pick up a bottle of wine. I think that's a very doable list.

Tomorrow I'm off for some of that there higher edumacation stuff and the big lernin' place that MUN spot, courtesy of work I shall become more informed on the effects and how to deal with Change Managment HA ! Little do they know that I manage change really quite effectively the sliver kind gets left in the bottom of my purse until I dislocate my shoulder and the pennies are left in small containers for those have a penny leave a penny things. See Change Management I should get a day off for that.

Monday's session looks awesome; Conflict Resolution, can I stop wars after Monday I wonder ? My brain power and one day session knowledge* can change the course of history !!!

Go ahead...envy me.


* like as if ! if the world is relying on sheer brain power from Moi that we are doomed, the doomiest doomed that have ever been doomed / doomable / dooming / etc and so forth in that annoying manner.